It's a Windsday

Windy days are inevitably very funny days or very bad days for us. Our dog, Molly, chases leaves. She chases them with all the vigor of a drug addict chasing that next high. I am not exaggerating. Literally if there are leaves blowing, Molly is on alert. She chases them without regard to cars, people, yard boundaries, walls... you get the picture. Her habit could get her killed, not unlike most dangerous addictive behaviors.


So today is windy. That is an understatement. It is a no fun to be had, blustery, blow you down kind of day. So the only outdoor trip I have taken has been to the mailbox. It was a fortuitous excursion too because our state tax return from Wisconsin came today. I was excited to get my grubby hands on it so I ripped it open while walking back to the house. Now for those of you who don't know, my mailbox is maybe 20 feet from my house. Not a big deal to walk there and walk back with all that I gather from Mr. Mailbox. Today was a different story. My freezing fingers fumbled the check and it blew straight up into the sky and twirled around out of my grasp. It did a plastic bag dance a la American Beauty and I was not in jumping distance. So picture this... Molly is leaf hunting and I think to myself that she will help me since this rectangular piece of paper should spark her interest. NO. Not at all.  She ignores my calls for help and continues to stalk dead blowing leaves. I am jumping up and grabbing for this rather important document and it is swirling out of my grasp. 1) I am wearing cut off sweatpants that are holy and held together by dirt and safety pins. 2) I am wearing slipper boots. 3) I am fat and pregnant and not in good leaping and chasing shape. So I end up trying to dive on this damn check as it blows away from me. I miss. Then I feel like stomping it might stop it's motion easier and I miss several times. Luckily, yes, I did eventually pin the sucker and pick it up. I look at my house and there is Lily standing in the doorway laughing at me. I think Molly was too. And probably most of the neighbors.


Also a funny incident that happened today was on behalf of Lily's new found modesty in front of company. She has been taught that when people come over you should have pants on. Yeah, we are giant prudes. She was watching a show on PBS where they are generally located in a classroom. Well during this episode school was off for the day and all the kids from class were coming over to one boy's house. Lily was flapping her arms and whapping me with something. I was chatting with a girlfriend and was unsure of what the emergency was. I glanced down and noticed the object hitting me was her pants and she was frantically looking at me and then back at the TV. I realized too late that she was trying to get me to put her pants on before the friends came over to the boy's house. She was just sure they would see her without her pants and that was completely unacceptable. She actually bolted upstairs in tears sobbing at me that she was "so embarrassed!" because I didn't get her pants on before they got there. I felt bad but could not stop laughing silently as I apologized for my clear lack of tact and urgency in this delicate situation.


Happy Windsday!