home

Home is a place that is intangible. Your house is a place you can point to on a map. You can hang a wreath on the door of a house. You can even place a Home Sweet Home mat on the entry steps. But home is different. A person can be your home. A smell or a feeling can conjure a home. I have always envisioned Wisconsin as a wonderful place to build a home. I love this state's rolling farmlands and the dichotomy of the seasons we experience here. I have always felt right living here. Until I met Mark I thought home was here in the heartland. When we fell in love though, I realized that my sense of place was deeply rooted within him. He told me once that I felt like home to him. This was very early on in our relationship. It completely blew me away thinking that I could provide that feeling of a safe haven to another person. When we moved for Mark's job to a place that was very unfamiliar both in geography and native people, I was equally terrified and exhilarated. I knew that I could make our apartment in Bakersfield our home. In fact, I worked very hard to carve our names into that albeit temporary dwelling place. Mark told me that I succeeded in making our house a home and it made me sigh with relief.

Being home to someone is a great responsibility. It takes constant care and gentle nurturing. In some cases it takes fighting to keep that home safe and sound from things that could hurt it or disrupt it.

I let a piece of what made home to me travel all the way to Africa this year. I deeply invest in my sister. I always have. She has always been this precious commodity to me. She is the part of my home that is a kindred soul, a pusher, an inspiration and one of the brightest lights in my life. Without her here, there is a piece of home that is missing from me. We are always side by side in spirit. She is always swirling around in my thoughts. I wear a piece of her clothing daily to encourage me to be better as a person. I hope the home of mine that she took with her comforts her when she is feeling lonely or overwhelmed in such a different place with such dire needs.

There are no two people more different than my sister and my husband. They are polar opposites in almost every topic imaginable. But each of them make up such a profound piece of who I am.

My pieces and fragments that construct my home are many and varied in composition and location. In this way, my sense of home can never truly be wholly in one place. I will always be missing someone or something or somewhere. But in doing this fractal home creation, I feel like I will never be homeless since all my pieces are in so many places, times and in such different types of people.

Fight or Flight?

I have always been sensitive. I get my feelings hurt very easily. I cry without much warning or reason. I have a soft heart. My mom always allowed me to feel my feelings. She says I have always been this way. We sometimes refer to it as dramatic or a causation of my middle child syndrome.

I notice these same soft qualities in my daughter and it worries me while simultaneously filling me with great pride. I know how often I was crippled by my inability to handle a situation with a thick skin and a Teflon back. I feel like she cries more than a lot of other children. She also cares more deeply and is more in tune with others' emotions than other children seem to be.

Lily actually cares if she hurts your feelings. She and I share that quality. Lately, I have been worrying over whether the thickening of my skin is dulling the sensitive heart and loving spirit I once had. I have recently been more sharp and more ready to defend and argue a point rather than smile and allow that argument to blow over without much interaction from me.

I can't decide which is worse. Do I dial back my defensiveness and allow myself more opportunity to be hurt and sad? Or do I keep my head high and keep my shield by my side and a sword at my waist ready to strike down anyone who comes at me with contempt?

I want to keep Lily's precious darling heart pure and loving. But I want her to have the ability to speak her mind even when she feels outnumbered or under great pressure. I hope that she can have the best of both worlds. I hope she can be kind whenever possible and able to carefully and efficiently argue a point that is worth standing up for.

I know I can have both a sensitive side and a ferocious defensive side. I just want the two to be able to co-exist harmoniously. Mostly I feel like one overtakes the other and the pendulum sways back and forth. Being a role model for a young girl is a challenge and an honor. It takes constant introspection and re-evaluation of choices, words and reactions. This rings especially true when that young girl is your only daughter.

I hope that these competing sides of me can be honed and molded to fit together better. One is rather new and I feel like it is overtaking the older sweeter part. I will keep my awareness high and look to pass on only the best parts of myself to my impressionable daughter. It is a battle worth fighting to be the superlative mommy/woman I can be for her to look up to and hopefully deem worthy of emulating.

Snow and Lights

We were blessed with both this week. A light dusting of the white powder fell on our driveway and a smattering is still left on the lawn. We've got perfectly strung colored Christmas lights adorning our eaves. I prefer the opposite juxtaposition of color, as anyone who knows me will tell you. I like fresh green grass, brilliant blue skies and the shining hot yellow sun. I like my house lights white. I am old-fashioned? Do I lack creativity? I don't know. I just always thought white lights on the home were classic and beautiful. I never went for colored lights. This year marked a difference because Lily is vocal and has an opinion on almost every topic. As we were speed-shopping through Target before Finn had his obligatory meltdown caused by cart confinement, we slowed to toss in the two gigantic light reels that would perfectly string around the house. As Mark and I were discussing warm versus cool white, Lily chimed in that she loved the beautiful colors. I told her that they were nice, but we were getting white. The look on her face was not one of disappointment but of defiance and incredulity. She had literally not one moment where that even registered as a possibility.

"No, mom. Christmas lights have to be beautiful colors." she stated.

Mark's mom was with us and she said she wasn't going to say anything but since Lily had mentioned it, she liked colored lights best as well. As the turquoise light-up leopard print backpack fiasco of 2012 should have taught me, when you get Grandma and Granddarling Lily Kidwell voting on the same side, there is no countermeasure that is strong enough to sway the decision.

Mark painstakingly put up those beautiful lights with minimal assistance from me. He brought us all out and we lit them up just for the inaugural first evening. I instantly had tears spring to my eyes. They looked perfect. The twinkle and the glow was so festive and cheerful. Lily looked up at me and said, "I picked the perfect lights didn't I, Mama?"

So my preference has changed toward a more colorful glow around our happy home.

I got my mind changed as well toward a more colorful and kitschy Christmas card by my husband. My initial choice was just our professional photos on a nice slate gray stationery. Mark gave that the old thumbs down and convinced me that the classic red/green motif with pictures both professional and amateur mixed together was a much better choice and more suitable to our ramshackle little clan.

Maybe they all have it right. Those Kidwells are something else.

The mess of nonsense below should give you a preview of said Christmas card.



<div class="sflyProductPreviewWidget" style="width:425px; height:494px;"><div class="sflyProductPreviewWidgetTop" style="height:6px; background-image:url(http://cdn.staticsfly.com/img_/share/preview/msc/widget/top.gif);"></div><div class="sflyProductPreviewWidgetCenter" style="height:482px; padding: 0 6px 0 6px; background-image:url(http://cdn.staticsfly.com/img_/share/preview/msc/widget/bg.gif); background-repeat:repeat-y;"><div class="sflyProductPreviewLogo" style="width: 105px; height: 34px; padding: 14px 0 0 14px;"><img src="http://cdn.staticsfly.com/img_/share/preview/msc/widget/logo.gif" style="padding: 0; background: #ffffff; border: none; box-shadow: none;"></div><div class="sflyProductPreviewContainer" style="height:350px; text-align:center; padding: 0;"><a href="http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8GatG7dy3YYA&cid=SFLYOCWIDGET&eid=118"><img src="http://images-community.shutterfly.com/prs/v1/8GatG7dy38/8GatG7dy39zQ/p/67b0de21b3127d902548/JPEG/1352735353000/0/" style="padding: 0; background: #ffffff; border: none;  box-shadow: none;"></a></div><div class="sflyProductPreviewMessageContainer" style="height:55px; background-color:#f4f4e9; text-align:center; padding: 15px 0 15px 0; line-height: 19px;"><div class="sflyProductPreviewTitle" style="font-family: arial, sans-seris; font-size: 15px; color: #333333; font-weight: bold;"><span>Photo Card</span></div><div class="sflyProductPreviewViewCollection" style="font-family: arial, sans-seris; font-size: 13px; color: #333333;"><span>View the entire <a href="http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery" style="color: #6666cc;">collection</a> of cards.</span></div></div></div><div class="sflyProductPreviewWidgetBottom" style="height:6px; background-image:url(http://cdn.staticsfly.com/img_/share/preview/msc/widget/bottom.gif);"></div></div>

Mark Approved Healthy Recipes

Mark and I have been incorporating some healthy food choices into our daily lives. He has admired a few more than he ever thought he would. They are loaded with fresh veggies, lean meats and make your body feel sooo good! I hope you like them and feel free to comment or respond with any questions or suggestions you may have. Eating well has changed our whole outlook on fitness and healthy living. Enjoy!

Egg Cups

What You'll Need:

• eggs (as many as you'll eat in a few days we do 12)
• muffin tin
• spinach
• bacon
• red pepper flakes/cayenne 
• PAM or some other way to grease your muffin tin

What You Should Do:

• grease muffin tin
• set oven at 350
• crack all eggs in a bowl and add a splash of almond milk
• add spices and whip until light yellow and smooth
• place spinach leaves and bacon pieces in each muffin cavity
• pour mixture on top until 2/3 full
• bake for 12 mins or until firm

*you can add or subtract any additions to the egg mixture, what you like in an omelette works perfect in this

**you can line each muffin cavity with a piece of deli meat to help it stay together and add another layer of yummy protein

Homemade Chicken Broth

What You'll Need:

• whole chicken (preferably organic)
• 1/2 onion (Walla-Walla for me)
• jalapeno
• carrots (2 cups sliced)

What You Should Do:

• Roast whole chicken 
• break down and take meat off the bones
• put bones in crock pot with 6 cups of cold water
• add half an onion roughly chopped, handful of carrots and a jalapeno sliced lengthwise
• let simmer on low for 8-12 hours ( I left mine overnight)
• strain into large bowl, keep veggies/any meat left and discard bones

Paleo Friendly Zuppa Toscana

What You'll Need:

• homemade chicken stock (6 cups-ish)
• 2-3 cups kale leaves
• 1 lb spicy sausage (browned)
• 1 cup carrots (sliced)

What You Should Do:

• dump homemade chicken stock in crockpot
• turn on low and add carrots and browned spicy sausage
• add 2 cups/handfuls of kale and a pinch of salt
• add 1/3 cup almond milk (heavy cream if you ain't no Paleo Person)
• let all simmer for 3 hours or until carrots are al dente and kale is soft

Cauliflower Crust

What You'll Need:

• 1 head cauliflower
• assorted spices of choice
• 1 egg

What You Should Do:

• break down 1 head cauliflower and put in microwave safe bowl with 2 tbsp water
• cover tightly with saran wrap and microwave on high for 4 mins or until fork tender
• place steamed cauliflower in food processor with spices of choice (red pepper flakes, cayenne, italian seasoning blend, garlic, parsley, basil)
• pulse for a few seconds at a time so there is still a chunky ricey consistency
• remove from processor and back to bowl
• mix with one egg until well incorporated
• press mixture onto oiled pizza pan so it holds together
• pat dry with paper towels for added crispness

Tomato/Pizza Sauce

What You'll Need:

• 2 roma tomatoes sliced
• 1 can low sodium tomato paste
• garlic (4-5 cloves)
• 1 red pepper sliced 
• red pepper flakes and cayenne (if ya like it spice-ay)

What You Should Do:

• place all above ingredients in food processor 
• pulse until thick and as chunky as you like

Something to Say

Today I woke up before the sun. I had a pleasant morning with my husband shuffling around whispering over hot coffee with each other. I sent him off to work laden with Paleo approved breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses and lunch. We had a busy weekend with two birthday parties, a dual baptism and grandparent parade (extend out the syllables of that last one to make it sound like Prince's Raspberry Beret like I do). Not often do we Kidwell folk like to fill our entire weekend with out of the house things because we are homebodies at our finest. 

Finn and I made a Friday night appearance at a friend's soiree at her home. He had been feverish and clingy all week so I thought it would be better to take him with me rather than foisting him on to daddy, thereby ruining both of their evenings. When my babies are sick it is mommy or nobody. So, Finn came to party with the adults for a bit and ran rampant through their unchildproofed lovely home. He attacked the flat screen with every chance he got and ran circles around the stone fireplace. He stopped a few times to give hearty high fives to the birthday girl and only once to give a single finger touch to her husband's awaiting high five hand. We left early when Finn started chanting "nah, naht" to bid everyone goodnight as he was ready for bed.

Saturday brought the delivery of the Ariel cake and my cousin's daughter's 4th birthday party. I made the cake for her that was under the sea themed. It seemed to go over quite well. Lily and Finn both played nicely at the party and Mark got to keep an eye on the Penn State game.

By Sunday, we were all starting to feel the effects of being out of our little comfort zone home. We composed ourselves anyway and drove to a lovely church service with a dual baptism of my cousin's two children. Both kids were so well-behaved and though we left early, it was very nice to attend.

Grandparent parade took us to Woodbury just after the baptism where we visited with Mark's family for his dad's birthday. The highlight was the all-girl shopping trip that Lily, Grandma and I took. We loaded up at  Carter's. We sniffed and smelled at Bath and Body Works. Lily proclaimed some scents to have taken her by surprise and some she deemed heavenly.

Monday morning came with a quickness and several other factors led me to this realization and subsequent blog post. I was born to be a great mom. I know this may seem odd or inconsequential to some of you career minded humans browsing here now. But hear me out. Some moms I know have a difficult time staying home. They are better suited among other adults. Facts and figures, deadlines and working lunches suit them better than quelling tantrums and nursing sickies. I have literally no problem with that. I do, however, feel strongly that you should reciprocate the support and respect to those of us who stay home with our kids. 

My and my husband's decision for me to stay at home is not up for mockery, eye-rolling, debate or question. It isn't yours to deem one way or the other. I know I am a wonderful mom because of the way my children behave and the way they interact. I know deep down that this was what I was meant to do. I never succeeded so well at anything like I do at parenting. There are amazing working parents as well. That is not even remotely my point. Mark is a working dad and he is the greatest father I could ever ask for my children to have. 

Lately there has been a trend toward sneering at people who are proud parents. We are a nuisance. Our children bother you and our bags and strollers are cumbersome. Our photos and updates are too many and too invasive on your social media news feeds. Our minivans and playdates elicit sighs and snide looks.

It is my opinion that not everyone is cut out to do everything well. We all have a niche. My life is being a mom. And while you may not share the passion or the title, you should look deep within and consider what bothers you so much about that.

I will continue to be a stained clothes wearing, pony tailed, coffee guzzling, photo littering, status bombing, home cooking, goofy voiced, song singing, bag laden, stroller pushing, hand holding, laundry folding, cake baking, silly dancing, lunch packing, walk taking, park playing, full to the brim with love mommy. 

If you don't like it *click click* unfriend me, buddy. 

homebodies

Kidwell World

Hello to all of you!

Again, I must apologize for my inconsistent blogging habits. I get going on little tangents and forget to write about them. Now, to what all of you care about, the kids.

Lily is about a month into kindergarten and is thriving. She has behavior monitoring everyday because her classroom is run in a very strict organized manner. She starts her day on green and if she receives one warning about anything in particular that is not abiding by the rules she has to flip to yellow. If she has to be warned again, about anything, it is a red card and a mandatory 10 minute time out and sitting out for 10 minutes of recess. While the mama bear in me gets very annoyed that my daughter asking if her letter "t" is written correctly without waiting to be called on warrants a warning, the realist in me knows that she had better learn to follow rules regardless of how her mommy feels about them.

She is learning sight words and is sounding things out very well for someone so impatient with non-comprehension. Numbers come to her so easily that she never even has to take a moment before she has the exact answer. She is still ever so patient and kind to her younger brother even though he pushes every last good grace of hers to the very limit.

Finn is a monster. He is a darling. But, he is a monster. He is reckless, destructive, inquisitive, mischievous and stubborn as hell. He is also a fast learner, excitable, loving and so very happy. He smiles and waves while saying a very clear "hi!" to strangers. He waves and very sweetly sings "byeee!" when we leave their presence. His list of words is expanding daily and we are all so stunned when he picks up a new one. 

So far there is:
Puppy
Daddy 
Mommy
Papa
No
Nah-nah (night-night)
Issy (sissy)
Woo-woo (train)
Beep-beep (car)
Boh (boats)
Ishies (fishies)
Mowah (more)
Foo (food)
Bah-boh (bottle)
Bah-oh (ball)

He is obsessed with big trucks and tractors. He loves his daddy and his papa. And he gets incredibly excited when Lily comes home from school. He can climb anything, eat anything and will stay outdoors until you drag him kicking and screaming inside.

Mark and I are doing fine. :)
Thanks for reading.

Elevate!

I'm starting to go public with my addiction. I have heard this is the only way to cope with the madness. I am Kate. And I am addicted to party planning. I love every inch of it. I like baking cakes. I can whip up my magical buttercream in under 4 minutes now. Cupcake bites are like second nature to me and can be done in a zen trance. I am a wicked fast pom maker. I can scour the aisle of craft stores and come up with fresh and whimsical designs for pennies on the dollar. I can itemize, dictate, counsel and assist with primping all at once.


It all started when I would help put together weddings at Naz Chapel during college. I loved the grateful expressions from the bride or her family when you told them everything was under control. I loved lighting the candles and placing each bow and ribbon just so. I found myself in cahoots with florists, caterers, maintenance staff and well-dressed bridal parties all in one day. 


On the other end of the spectrum, working as CEO of Lily and Finn Industries, it became more of a need to create magic for my children. I want their birthdays to be so concrete in their memory banks that they're never forgotten. It is so special to experience the happiness that a gathering of loved one seems to organically generate. It is a calling for me that some might deem frivolous. But, for me, it is the memorable moments we create in celebrations that mark our best days.


So, I named my endeavor Elevated Events and brought it forth unto the mighty internet. Check it out if you want to see some of my stuff. Hoping all is well with everyone. I promise the next blog will be about the kiddos. ;)


katekidwell.wix.com/elevate

Five

She is five. My firstborn darling daughter is five years old today. She told Mark and I this morning that she felt smarter, faster and stronger now that she is a whole year older. She has opened her gifts. She had her party. She has received numerous well-wishes from loved ones. I will write to you now what I told her this morning as she snuggled with me in my bed. 


By this time five years ago, I had you in my arms. I waited for you for my whole life. I waited two extra weeks while you comfortably resided in my tummy. You came into this earth on your own terms. I held you in my arms for the first time and my first thought was, 'Oh! She's so pretty!" I truly had never seen something so breathtaking in my twenty-two years of life. You were the answer to our prayers and at the same time more than we ever could have dared to want. You were so loved the day you were born. There was a welcome committee in the waiting room gathered to greet you even though it was 2:56am by the time you graced us with your presence. Our room in the hospital was filled with giant stuffed animals, colorful flowers, smiling faces and happy tears. You being born made so many people so very happy. So, remember that today as you are now five years old. You were born to bring such light to the world. And I love you more now than I did then.


A note to my daughter:
Lily Margaret Kidwell, you bring your daddy and I so much joy and so many memories that we can't even retell each and every little thing you've done to make us smile. We write down funny anecdotes. We take videos and pictures. You remember so many things yourself that you're like our own little memory bank. So, today on your birthday, we want you to know that you've brought us more happiness with each year of  your life that we simply rejoice in the day you were born. It was the start of our life as a little family when you came into this world. I can honestly say your existence has made mine more meaningful than anything else I have accomplished. You made me a mommy. You gave me that title and I humbly thank you for that. Happiest of birthdays, my little princess. 

Family Vacation

We spent the first week in May soaking up the abundant sun in Orlando, FL. It was a whirlwind of Disney, dining, and splashing in the pool. I was truly nervous this was not going to be the case.


Three days before we were set to leave, Lily got a really bad flu bug. She was throwing up and essentially motionless and expressionless for 72 hours. She looked so frail and small that my heart broke every time I looked at her. She had a Disney countdown on her door for the entire month before we left and it was left unchanged beginning Tuesday (the first day she was sick). No stickers were added and no happy dances were danced. It was a tug of war inside me because the over-protective mama bear in me wanted to keep her safe and warm with me here at home. The sliver of realist in me knew that I couldn't sacrifice a whole trip because she hadn't fully recovered by "drive day". So, I loaded her up in the car with dad (Mark, his mom and Lily drove down to FL) and told her I loved her. I waited for a response and upon not receiving one I repeated the sentiment. She slowly focused in on my face and said, "Mom, can you please stop talking to me?" Then slipped back into the large eyed vacant expression that had come to replace her normal vibrant smiling face. I had never felt so guilty as a mom. Mark called from the road about 10 minutes later saying she was sleeping peacefully. I didn't breathe easily until we reunited in Florida two days later. 


The child I found in our room in Orlando was a thinner but almost fully revived little girl. Being that I hadn't seen her slow recovery I was overjoyed to hug her tiny little body and kiss her cheerful face. I was all the more enchanted seeing Lily's eyes light up at the sight of the beautiful princesses. I relished watching her while her eyes were on the parades and sights of the Magic Kingdom. I dragged Finn in his floaty boat in the pool to mirror Lily's deft lap swimming in the pools. All in all, this was Lily's vacation. It was a magical experience to witness her completely enveloped in whimsy, wonder and fun. 


It made me realize that she is growing up faster than I can even rationally understand. She will be five in July, and just this past week had a friend knock on the door asking for her to come out and play. Mark and I were flabbergasted. He answered the door and sort of puzzled looking, turned and said, "Lily, it's for you." 

We have been blessed with two living breathing miracles. And sometimes it takes a juxtaposition of highs and lows to illuminate just how fleeting all of these experiences are and how lucky we are to have them at all.

Bawww!

Photo Credit: Kati Engel

Lily had to get her last round of immunizations today. I was dreading this. Mark jokes that the whole team breaks down on shot day. It is true. I will never forget taking Lily in for her first round of shots when she was a brandnew . She screamed and cried and I silently wept until they let me bundle her up and runwalk the hell out of there with my poor teeny tiny baby. Mark followed behind with the diaper bag, my purse and my dignity because I was full on sobbing by the time we made it to the parking lot.

It has been different with Finn. He handles the punctures much better. He cries for a moment just after the initial stick. Then he is totally over it. It is as if it never happened.

Today, I brought Lily in. I had received a call that our normal (read favorite and wonderful) doctor was out sick today and that I should reschedule. I haggled with the admissions person because as I explained to her, I had just spent the morning psyching myself and Lily up for this undertaking. She got us in a mere 20 minutes later than our original appointment so we were all set. I will spare the gory details of how it all went down. Suffice it to say, I had to "bear hug" Lily on to the parchment paper covered bed while a big male nurse and a spry female nurse held her legs. She had NO idea why all the fuss was being made and was in adorably good spirits right up until the first wave of immunizations were administered. She then tried to flail free and began scream-crying. They did the second shots super quickly and it was all over. She kept the sirens wailing and at a moment of clarity shouted,

"I am NEVER doing this AGAIN!"

So, for all of you who read this, yes I did cry today. But at least I could derive some joy out of her perceived control over her little universe in that she thinks she commanded that Shots Shalt Not Be Administered Again. And in a way she is right. This is the last of her boosters so I am going to kowtow to my tiny dictator and let her keep the illusion of being in charge of her destiny.

I know I am in for so many hurts both visible and deep within for my littles. But today showed me that in the face of tremendous pain and betrayal, my daughter is a fierce and passionate soul who reacts vehemently against the things that dare to hurt her. She was crying but also so violently opposed to the thought of this injustice occurring that I got a very real sense of the person she has become. 

To risk being redundant, I think I like her. And I think I will keep her. 

Next enemy to face in battle. Band-Aids.

Deliciousness!

I had a task to do. My darling sister took on a project of making our stepmom her favorite dessert, Tiramisu. Tiramisu is not difficult but it does require a few steps, and a lot of uncommon ingredients. Jackster (sisterface) had to get her wisdom teeth pulled so I decided I would take the cake. All puns aside, I truly wanted to take on this monster job and do it well. I also love baking so I thought it would be funsies to try it. 

Here is the finished product.

But, as luck would have it, I had extra espresso and Kahula soaked ladyfingers. So, being the master of the cake bite (thank you, Bakerella) I added the rest of the Mascarpone, mixed it together and voila I had the filling for the truffle. I then melted down some bittersweet chips and dunked away. I added a few sprinkles of cocoa powder and they were finished. I tend to get carried away when experimenting with desserts so I tried out a shard recipe I had seen and also did some doodling with my piping bag on parchment paper. All in all it was a (sorry) sweet success!

A Tiger Who Has Earned Her Stripes

Your body is not ruined.

You are a goddamn tiger who has earned her stripes.

This is one of the most recent pictures I am using for inspiration while working out and eating healthily. I have had two babies in five years. So, of course my body looks a little different. Things...hang differently. Places are fuller and less lean. This doesn't mean I am disgusting or unattractive. I keep reminding myself that Lily is always watching and imitating me. It will be the end of me if I ever hear her say things I have said to myself in the mirror.

I am happier now than I have ever been. I am fulfilled beyond my wildest imaginings. That being said, I am also more... let's just call it stripey. I am more ready to call people out on their boohockey. I can readily accept that there is enough in this world that is unfair and I can do nothing about it. But there are small injustices I can try to right to make this a better place for my babies to grow up.

Yesterday, at the Y, I was gearing up for a workout. My darling dad called to confirm he was picking up Lily and we arranged a time to trade off the booster seat so he could do so. I took the phone into the front part of the locker room by the couches and tables and magazines. Now, nobody had explicitly stated "no cell phones" but I had been there enough to know it was frowned upon. I also knew, however, that all my belongings were strewn all over the bench and I was half changed so I just took it to a place that felt communal and phone safe. The phone call lasted 38 seconds and was done with me facing beige cement walls the entire time.

Boy was I wrong about it being no big deal. Two middle aged busybody biddies actually flagged down a Y employee and I heard them whispering to her that "SHE is on her phone!" It was the anxious loud whispering that little kids do when they are nervously telling on another child. They even pointed to me. After I got the perfunctory rules of the gym oration by the Y staffer, she turned and left. She was probably getting back to whatever she was going to do before the gray haired natters waived her down. 

When the locker room door closed, I turned to the tattletails and said, "Seriously... Seriously??" While nodding my head, eyebrows raised and apparently looking so menacing that they dared not respond. I wonder if it was my pink Ipod or my Harry Potter devil worshipping ringtone that got them so in bunches that they were incapacitated to even speak to me. They exchanged worried glances and looked all over as if hoping that I wasn't talking to them.

So I said, "Next time I need to arrange a ride home for my daughter I will be sure to rush outside so don't worry." Again, no response. Actually at this point they were gently nudging each other and shuffling toward the exit. I then rocked some amazing cardio and lifted heavier weights than I have in over a year.

And so the timid cub has become an intimidating and starkly striped tigress. Watch out next time we meet in the streets... I may cross the crosswalk without permission. Because I am CRAZY like that. 

And it helps my workout to call people out on their nonsense. 

Rahhhhrrrr.

Personalities

Having two children leads to comparisons. It is as simple as that. You can either deny or embrace it, but it is a fact of life. When you have your first child, everything they do is unique and important and singularly perfect. When they smile for the first time, laugh, eat solid foods, poop in the potty... all the happy moments of parenting come with a flourish of newness and importance. When the second comes along you begin to have the strange sense of appreciation and critical analysis occurring simultaneously. I realized this the other day when I decided Finn was going to start eating purees. 


I wanted to wait until the recommending 6 months, but then I realized I have always let my instincts win out over vaguely terrifying medical articles and so I went about feeding my son. I bought squash and sweet potatoes. I intend on making my own foods for him but wanted to test run a couple before investing the time in steaming, pureeing, freezing, storing a food type he was going to Kidwell* on me. So the comparisons started when I realized that I had started Lily on solids on January 4, 2008. It was the same month and day only 4 years later that I began foods with Finn. 


That was where the similarities ended, friends. Mark used to have to pin Lily's flailing arms down when we fed her. The real possibility of the little princess smacking liquefied carrots all over the floor was something she deemed worthy of her utmost endeavors. Finn on the other hand grabbed the spoon and like a tractor beam pulled it steadily toward his gaping mouth. The weirdest part was the look in his eyes. It was menacing yet calm, like a criminal mastermind watching his plans for world domination coming to fruition. He was intent on getting that food himself because clearly I was either too simple or too mean to get it to him fast enough. I would get the food in his mouth then dip into the bowl for more and he would start whimpering. I was wondering if he didn't like it and was less than thrilled with the whole idea. Then I realized that he was only starting to cry when I was moving the spoon away from him. I had to set the bowl under his two chins and quickly dip then insert. It was more like keeping the food coming at a constant flow rather than bites. I had a flashback during this inhalation of squash of earlier in the day when I saw spoons that held the food inside this canister attached to the handle and laughed at them in the Target aisle. 
"Hahaha! Who would need a rapid delivery system for baby food! They're just babies!" I guffawed pompously. 
Ha. Ha... harrrumph. Me. That's who.




*Kidwell: verb- to reject a food based on appearance and principle based on it's inherent health value to humans. Example if a food is in the vegetable or fruit group the likelihood of being Kidwelled is quite high. 

Lily's first foods/Carrots/1.4.2008

Finn's first foods/Squash and Rice Cereal/1.4.2012

Hiatus

Hello friends!
Sorry for the extended lack of blog posts. I had a baby. Then Lily started 4K. Then we were all sick for the month of November. Then came Christmas and now we are in the new year. 2012. We had a lot to be thankful for in the past twelve months. Chronologically I suppose we could say we celebrated Mark's last birthday in his twenties, my last birthday being pregnant, Lily's fourth birthday, Finn's miraculous entrance into the world, our five year wedding anniversary and Christmas with two beautiful children. Honestly, there is no better feeling than contentment at home. I am so blessed and feel so honored to be a wife and mommy to the loves of my life. 
We had a very perfect Christmas morning this year. Finn slept through it. Mark made coffee at 5am and we waited to hear Lily's footsteps coming down the stairs. She kept us in suspense until around 7am when we heard the familiar thump, thump, thump of a sleepy little girl making her way downstairs. She peeked her head over the banister and Mark and I were standing in the living room staring at her. This NEVER happens so she immediately raised her eyebrows in interest. 
"Dad? Is it Christmas?"
"Yes, honey."
"Mom? Is it??"
"Yes, baby."
...
"DID SANTA COME?!"
The sleepy thumps morphed into swift and precise toe touches on the remaining steps as she made her way to the tree. Presents gleamed in the glow of the tree's lights. She smiled at us and our Christmas wishes were realized.


Truly this story sums up our year. Our family is complete and we are so very blessed.


Here are some snapshots of 2011