A Tiger Who Has Earned Her Stripes

Your body is not ruined.

You are a goddamn tiger who has earned her stripes.

This is one of the most recent pictures I am using for inspiration while working out and eating healthily. I have had two babies in five years. So, of course my body looks a little different. Things...hang differently. Places are fuller and less lean. This doesn't mean I am disgusting or unattractive. I keep reminding myself that Lily is always watching and imitating me. It will be the end of me if I ever hear her say things I have said to myself in the mirror.

I am happier now than I have ever been. I am fulfilled beyond my wildest imaginings. That being said, I am also more... let's just call it stripey. I am more ready to call people out on their boohockey. I can readily accept that there is enough in this world that is unfair and I can do nothing about it. But there are small injustices I can try to right to make this a better place for my babies to grow up.

Yesterday, at the Y, I was gearing up for a workout. My darling dad called to confirm he was picking up Lily and we arranged a time to trade off the booster seat so he could do so. I took the phone into the front part of the locker room by the couches and tables and magazines. Now, nobody had explicitly stated "no cell phones" but I had been there enough to know it was frowned upon. I also knew, however, that all my belongings were strewn all over the bench and I was half changed so I just took it to a place that felt communal and phone safe. The phone call lasted 38 seconds and was done with me facing beige cement walls the entire time.

Boy was I wrong about it being no big deal. Two middle aged busybody biddies actually flagged down a Y employee and I heard them whispering to her that "SHE is on her phone!" It was the anxious loud whispering that little kids do when they are nervously telling on another child. They even pointed to me. After I got the perfunctory rules of the gym oration by the Y staffer, she turned and left. She was probably getting back to whatever she was going to do before the gray haired natters waived her down. 

When the locker room door closed, I turned to the tattletails and said, "Seriously... Seriously??" While nodding my head, eyebrows raised and apparently looking so menacing that they dared not respond. I wonder if it was my pink Ipod or my Harry Potter devil worshipping ringtone that got them so in bunches that they were incapacitated to even speak to me. They exchanged worried glances and looked all over as if hoping that I wasn't talking to them.

So I said, "Next time I need to arrange a ride home for my daughter I will be sure to rush outside so don't worry." Again, no response. Actually at this point they were gently nudging each other and shuffling toward the exit. I then rocked some amazing cardio and lifted heavier weights than I have in over a year.

And so the timid cub has become an intimidating and starkly striped tigress. Watch out next time we meet in the streets... I may cross the crosswalk without permission. Because I am CRAZY like that. 

And it helps my workout to call people out on their nonsense. 

Rahhhhrrrr.