Bawww!

Photo Credit: Kati Engel

Lily had to get her last round of immunizations today. I was dreading this. Mark jokes that the whole team breaks down on shot day. It is true. I will never forget taking Lily in for her first round of shots when she was a brandnew . She screamed and cried and I silently wept until they let me bundle her up and runwalk the hell out of there with my poor teeny tiny baby. Mark followed behind with the diaper bag, my purse and my dignity because I was full on sobbing by the time we made it to the parking lot.

It has been different with Finn. He handles the punctures much better. He cries for a moment just after the initial stick. Then he is totally over it. It is as if it never happened.

Today, I brought Lily in. I had received a call that our normal (read favorite and wonderful) doctor was out sick today and that I should reschedule. I haggled with the admissions person because as I explained to her, I had just spent the morning psyching myself and Lily up for this undertaking. She got us in a mere 20 minutes later than our original appointment so we were all set. I will spare the gory details of how it all went down. Suffice it to say, I had to "bear hug" Lily on to the parchment paper covered bed while a big male nurse and a spry female nurse held her legs. She had NO idea why all the fuss was being made and was in adorably good spirits right up until the first wave of immunizations were administered. She then tried to flail free and began scream-crying. They did the second shots super quickly and it was all over. She kept the sirens wailing and at a moment of clarity shouted,

"I am NEVER doing this AGAIN!"

So, for all of you who read this, yes I did cry today. But at least I could derive some joy out of her perceived control over her little universe in that she thinks she commanded that Shots Shalt Not Be Administered Again. And in a way she is right. This is the last of her boosters so I am going to kowtow to my tiny dictator and let her keep the illusion of being in charge of her destiny.

I know I am in for so many hurts both visible and deep within for my littles. But today showed me that in the face of tremendous pain and betrayal, my daughter is a fierce and passionate soul who reacts vehemently against the things that dare to hurt her. She was crying but also so violently opposed to the thought of this injustice occurring that I got a very real sense of the person she has become. 

To risk being redundant, I think I like her. And I think I will keep her. 

Next enemy to face in battle. Band-Aids.