This past summer I found a shiny green book in with the rest of the hundreds we own for the kids. The Giving Tree was one of the more formative books of my youth and I remembered really loving the message. So, Lily and I sat down and began reading it. As each page was read, understood and turned I began to feel an ominous pressure in my heart. Lily was fidgeting with her hands and looking increasingly worried. By the time we got to the cutting down of the trunk after the apple stripping and branch hacking, she was beginning to seriously fret. "I don't like the where this is going" was her exact phrase. So, when we turned to see the sad abandoned trunk she burst into tears and told me she didn't want to continue reading this awful sad book. Mark came bounding up the stairs worried something had hurt his little girl. Indeed it had. Her darling heart just couldn't take it that someone could give so much and be asked for more without so little as a thank you in repayment.
Today we went to the salon to get Lily's haircut. Our stylist asked if she wanted to take a little more than we planned off to be able to donate to Pantene's beautiful lengths program. Lily immediately agreed and got a beautiful cut and looks so sweet and older and beautiful. I was so filled with emotion at what a gentle and kind soul she is. Just now, before bed, she asked why some children don't have hair, which is how I explained it to her at the salon and she just nodded as if she understood. I asked if she really wanted to know because it is a little sad and hard to understand. She nodded vehemently and so we went online and I showed her pictures of children who are suffering and fighting through cancer and chemotherapy and have lost their hair in the fight. I explained that while the chemo attacks the bad cancer bugs it also has to be so strong that it hurts some of the good parts of you too. She asked, "like their hair?" and I said that was right.
She then welled up a little and said, "I am going to donate my hair for the rest of my life! It isn't fair that some kids have to give up having hair because they're sick!"
She looked so adamant and defiant in the face of such a terrible disease. I couldn't help but recall her staunch disapproval and utter sadness at the thought of being left shorn and alone while reading the book that shall not be named. I get the feeling that she is wise beyond her years. She is empathetic and understanding beyond any realm of reason. It is a worry of mine that her soft heart and thin skin will do her a disservice. But after tonight, I feel like her sensitivity and loving heart give her strength and courage. She is equipped to right the wrongs and injustices in the world. To her, there is no good answer for why pain and meanness exist and I cannot help but agree. She has an inner grace and focus that sincerely stops me in my tracks. Today showed me that she may look young and fragile but she is building up an absolute stockpile of battles she will inevitably win.
My little girl is growing up. And, honestly, I love what I am seeing.
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